On New Year Goals, Two Weeks Late: Faith, Art, and Finding Home #2

Oh, New Year resolutions. We say we hate them and won’t make them. We joke about how everyone fails them. But I have a pretty strong suspicion that we all, secretly, have our own hopes for better every time a new year comes along. Riding high on the good will and cheer of Christmas, but tired from the hustle of activity, we approach the new year thinking, “This is it. This one will be different!” 

I prefer to call them Goals. New Year Goals. Something that I’m not really “resolving” to do, promising to do, but something I would like to do. A target to aim for. For me, the word "resolution" implies pain, waking up at 4am to haul yourself to the gym, eating salad as penance for all those Christmas party cookies, and other unpleasant, guilt-ridden decisions. “Goal” is a much friendlier word. Goals imply looking to the future -- the weight lost, the better habits, the shiny unicorn at the end of the rainbow.

So, y’know, I made some goals. I didn’t announce them on Facebook or tell anyone or even jot them down in a journal. I’d been recognizing some tendencies in myself that I didn’t like, and I was going to start conquering them one weekday at a time. I was going to get up early, do yoga every morning, write, stay on top of work deadlines, and pull myself out of whatever indifferent holiday laziness I’d slipped into.

Monday after New Year’s Day, I hit the snooze on my alarm. An hour later, I checked my work email and discovered a fairly large task I’d completely ignored because I misunderstood the deadline. I envisioned the first Monday morning of 2016 as peaceful and creative and recharging, and spent it at my desk, chugging coffee and scrambling to make up neglected work until 1pm.

So much for goals.

***

What is it about January that brings on the self-reflection? Perhaps the newness of the year, the openness of the calendar, the return to regular life rhythms, or the long winter nights inspire slowing, silence. Or perhaps, y'know, it's the whole cultural new year resolution thing. When you walk through the mall and see sparkly party dresses replaced with neon exercise clothes, you feel the compulsion. Over and over, the underlying message not to stick with the way things are. We feel the pull toward something new. Something optimistic.

And it's a good thing, I think. It's good to take stock of where you are, and where you're heading. It's good to recognize the possibilities in those little blank calendar squares. January draws everything into sharp focus, like the long shadows on a sunny winter day.

***

To be honest, I've struggled a lot with what to write to you this month. I've had many false starts and half-baked ideas floating around, and nothing quite seems to come together. Now that it's two weeks into the new year, I open this space up and wonder if there's anything left worth saying, and I appraise my secret list of goals with a cynical eye.

But, maybe that's exactly what needs to be said. Hey, we made some goals. And maybe they aren't going quite as planned, but it's okay. There's still 50 weeks left in 2016, right? And sending a little letter out into the world is a good place to start.

What are your New Year Goals (not Resolutions)? 

Seriously, if you're like me and didn't tell anyone your goals for fear of jinxing it but kind of want to tell someone anyway, feel free to reply to this email. Maybe we can help each other toward those goals together.

Here are mine:
- Stay on top of work deadlines, one day at a time. (I've gotten lazy. I tend to procrastinate then panic. Working on, um... not doing that. So far, so good.)
- Hone my essay writing skills. And yet, at the same time, not be afraid to let words go.
- Read 40 books. (Because you have to read to write better, y'know? If you're on Goodreads, let's be friends!)
- And of course, actually follow through with writing one of these letters a month. ;)

As of right now, 26 people have joined this little email list. Thank you for trusting me with your inboxes, friends. Here's to 2016!

ON THE BLOG AND WRITING ELSEWHERE

Things have been pretty quiet, but here are a few pieces of note:

• My most recent honest bit of writing and a possible companion to this letter: Comparison is the Thief of Joy

• Last month, I had the privilege of sharing my first guest post at You Are Here Stories! If you missed it, please drop by to read "Where Are You From?" And stick around to explore some of the many great stories there.

• Lists! All the lists! Well, sort of. Check out Under the Radar's Top 11 Gourmet Albums of 2015, and my own personal Awesome of 2015 for music. (a book and a film list maybe coming soon. maybe.) 

• And here's a Bonus Spotify playlist of my 2015 list if you'd rather hear songs than read about them.

RUINS AND KINGDOMS!

Hey, I have this book of poems. It came out in October. If you already bought it, then consider this a hug and a high five and thank you! Would you mind leaving an honest review on Amazon or Goodreads? :)

If you haven't picked it up yet, you can find it on the Books page of my website. Sometimes I forget I actually have a book to my name now.

Thank you for reading, for caring, and for being awesome. <3
~Jen
 
www.jenroseyokel.com